My Journey

Hello and Welcome. I’m Marina Barnes, an Integrative Parent & Teen Coach. Parenting can be one of the hardest and yet most meaningful experiences in our lives, and it is also full of struggles. For me, the struggles actually began when I was a teenager. I lived with the perceived pressure from my parents to perform well – and the pressure from myself to do so. I did what was expected without ever asking if this was what I truly wanted. Looking back, this was the beginning of losing touch with myself.

When I first met my husband, he planted a seed: that children help us grow. As a parent of young children, I was completely lost at how to support their emotional needs, and how to navigate their conflicts. I read parenting books, attended talks, and applied what I had just learned. None of it worked because none of it took into account who my children were, and who I truly am.

I was fortunate to be part of nurturing and healing spaces that enabled me to slowly get in touch with myself again — and to build the internal resources to meet the challenges of parenthood. It was mindfulness that helped me become aware of the untrue stories I carried about each child. And Nonviolent Communication helped me to see that my children’s disruptive behaviors were attempts to meet needs. As my communication shifted from judgment and blame to curiosity and the desire to connect, the conflicts in our family became fewer and fewer.

When my children became young adults, I discovered the Mindful Self-Compassion program and its adaptation Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens program. Self- Compassion taught me failure is part of the shared human experience, and my inner critic could be met with kindness rather than judgment. If I had known this as a teenager, I would have fewer bumps on my road to adulthood – and into parenthood. This is why I teach and work with teens who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, and a harsh inner critic using the evidence-based Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens program.

I also discovered Compassionate Inquiry when my children were young adults. Compassionate Inquiry would have helped me recognize that the emotional triggers I experienced were not about my children — they were about my own unmet needs from childhood. Together, these approaches reaffirmed my belief that the wise and capable parent I had been searching for was already within me. This is how children help us grow.

I am deeply grateful for everything this parenting journey has taught me – and continues to teach me. If you are in the middle of your own parenting struggles, rest assured the answers you are looking for are not in another book or another podcast. The answers are already within you. I can help you find the way back home to yourself. This possibility was here for me, and it can also be here for you.

Qualifications

Continuous education is an important part of my practice. Here are some of areas of learning that are most important to my work as a coach.

• Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner (150+ clinical hours) – Ontario, Canada
• Certified Teen Talking Circles Facilitator — Bainbridge Island, WA
• Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness Certified Practitioner – David Treleavan, Berkeley, CA
• Mental Health First Aid – National Council for Behavioral Health, Washington D.C.
• Sources of Strength – Denver, CO
• Basic and Advanced Mediation / Victim Offender Mediation – Office of Human Resources, Santa Clara County, CA
• Restorative Justice – Bay Area NVC, Oakland, CA